You know, the sin of pride really doesn’t get much airplay these days.
 
This occurred to me the other day when I was reading a wonderful book (The Journey from the Head to the Heart by Fr. Stephen Valenta, for the curious among you.)  He wrote an entire chapter on pride, and it made me think about some things.

Jesus talked a lot about pride.  He warned us about pride.  He was infinitely compassionate with sexual sinners, but seemed to have very little patience for the proud.

Seems to me that maybe we should be talking about this a little more.
 
I suspect one of reasons we don’t is because we have very little idea of what the sin of pride really is.  Worse yet, we think we know – and what we think it is makes so little sense that we find it easier to ignore the topic altogether.

So let’s start with what the sin of pride isn’t.

So many people seem to believe that any time we recognize our gifts, accept a compliment, or, heaven forbid, like ourselves, we are committing a sin.  To them, “humility” means that we somehow distain ourselves and refuse to acknowledge any gifts, talents or abilities we may have.  There are people in this world who refuse to give their children compliments, thinking that they will “swell their heads” and lead to the sin of pride.  There are others who deliberately take no interest in their appearance because that would be “vanity” – a close cousin of pride.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Healthy self-respect is not pride.  It is not a sin.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  We are called to respect ourselves.  Jesus said “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  He didn’t say “love your neighbor instead of yourself” or even “love your neighbor more than yourself.”

We are created by God, in His image and likeness.  We are loved by Him – to the point that He was willing to come to earth and die for us.  That is a pretty good indication that we’re elevated significantly above last week’s garbage.

What’s more, he gave us gifts and talents.  To refuse to acknowledge that we have received those gifts seems, to me, to be the height of ingratitude.  How would you feel if you gave a precious gift to someone you loved, and afterward that person kept denying he had received that gift.  I don’t know about you, but I’d be a little ticked.

So what is the sin of pride?  Quite simply, it is forgetting about God’s role in all of this.  Yes, I have gifts.  Did I cause myself to have these gifts?  Of course not -- they came from God.  Everything comes from God.  My looks come from God, my talents come from God.  My ability to breathe in and out on a regular basis comes from God.

Pride says “I did this.”  It says “I don’t need anyone – I don’t need God.”  The proud take credit for their own accomplishments, their own lives.  They forget that everything is a gift from God, and they owe it all back to Him.  Remember the Pharisees?  Jesus harshly criticized them – and it’s no wonder.  Look at the way they prayer.  It was as if they were doing God some kind of favor by making their wonderful selves available to Him

That doesn’t fly so well.

Children, especially, need to understand this.  They need, most of all, to be constantly affirmed as good.  They need to get that God created them, He is crazy about them, and that He gave each of them special gifts that they should be grateful to Him for.  They need to know that we say “thank you” to God by developing those gifts and putting them to use for His service.

But what about all the things Jesus said about forgetting ourselves?  If we spend so much time telling children how wonderful they are, aren’t we focusing their attention inward, on themselves?

Quite the opposite, actually.  A healthy self-image makes it easier to forget about ourselves.  Look at it this way.  As you read this, you probably aren’t thinking about your left foot.  It's just hanging down there at the ends of your leg, not causing anybody any trouble.  But, if you had just dropped an anvil on your toe, you would most definitely have a hard time forgetting about your foot.  It would be screaming out for attention, distracting you and preventing you from paying attention to anyone or anything else.

It’s a healthy self who is free to forget about self.

The truly proud and those who lack true self-respect (they are often one and the same) have one thing in common -- they are deeply self-absorbed.  They can't  -- or won't -- stop thinking about themselves.  Whether that self-obsession grows out of pain or out of simple egomaniacal pride, the result is the same.  They fail to recognize the image and likeness of God in those around them -- and in doing so, they fail to live the love of Christ.

Humility, like all other virtues, is the mean between two extremes. In this case, the extremes are a) believing we have no value, and b) believing that we are the cause of our own value.

We were created in the image and likeness of God.  That’s good.  We respond to that by responding to His grace to rise above our sinful tendencies and give those gifts back to Him.  And, in the end, all of the credit goes to Him for making it possible.

If you can remember that, you’ll be fine.